Category Archives: England

Thank you, Scotland!

The Tower of London may return to its previous use? Well, no, obviously not.

The Tower of London may return to its previous use? Well, no, obviously not.

Okay, goodnight all!

As you read this please listen to Scotland the Brave.

Despite the fact that a “Yes” vote would have meant the “Full International Lawyer Employment Act,” I’m grateful for my ancestral homeland’s “No” decision. While we would have collectively figured out a solution, it would have temporarily been profoundly detrimental to the International economy’s interests, U.S. interests, England’s interests, Scotland’s interests, and I believe, the World’s interests.

Thank you, Scotland!

For those of you who voted for Independence, I applaud your activism and know you’ll keep Westminster to their promise of greater sovereignty.

Though you came short of your goal, you have changed the U.K. forever and Wales, Northern Ireland, England, and, most importantly, the democratic process are the better for it.

You are outstanding examples of the human species!

Thank you,


Junnier Law, P.A.

Off with his head?

The Tower of London may return to its previous use? Well, no, obviously not.

The Tower of London may return to its previous use? Well, no, obviously not.

Adventure Lawyer’s cocktail party factoid of the day:

Did you know that despite the U.K.’s abolition of the death penalty, that the Queen may still sign a death warrant in incidences of treason to the commonwealth and the monarchy?

So as the vote count appears to be favoring “No” in tonight’s Scotland Independence Referendum, Scottish First Minister “Alex Salmond [head of the vote “Yes” campaign] used his last interview with The Times to stress his commitment to the monarchy.”

I bet he did.

New Book Claims DNA Evidence Found Identifying Jack the Ripper


The crypts beneath Monastery of San Francisco, Lima, Peru (the most theme appropriate picture I could find to which I own the copyright.)

This is not the first time an “armchair detective” has claimed to have found forensic evidence identifying Jack the Ripper.

In Patricia Cornwell’s “Portrait Of A Killer: Jack The Ripper — Case Closed,” she accuses impressionist painter Walter Richard Sicker of creatively killing five Whitechapel women and sending taunting dispatches to Scotland Yard. In the book, she claims to have found DNA on a letter allegedly written by Jack the Ripper with a 99% probability correlation with DNA found on letters known to have been written by the famous artist.

Never mind the heavily trafficked and contaminated “Jack the Ripper” letter had already been known to be a hoax–in fact all of the hundreds of sickly mocking letters are probably hoaxes. Even the infamous “From Hell” letter containing a slice of kidney claiming “I ate the other half” was likely the macabre product of a medical student’s unique sense of humor. (An odd but not totally uncommon practice of the time.) Two local women were also arrested for writing hoax letters.

In any event, it turns out Sicker was relaxing and painting in France during the murders, and what with there being no Channel Tunnel at the time, if he is the murderer, he had one heck of an inconvenient and undocumented commute.

In this new book, writer Russell Edwards accuses Aaron Kosminski, a Polish immigrant barber who has historically been considered to be the prime suspect, of being the infamous murderer. Edwards believes he has the shawl of one of the victims that is rumored to have come from the murder scene of Catherine Eddowes. He claims that DNA from Eddowes’ blood and Kosminski’s semen are both on the shawl.

That’s pretty good evidence, even by Florida jury standards.

But I want to see the bench notes before making my own judgment. The methods used in collecting the ancient samples are very unique and have not yet been subject to the scrutiny of peer review.

Mr. Kosminksi had a reputation for “self abuse,” so if it is their shared DNA on the shawl I could offer an alternative theory for how it got there–but that would require me to get pretty graphic and I think we’ve delved sufficiently into the darkness already.

Puttin’ on the Ritz

Me and my friend on another planet--the London Ritz!

Me and my friend on another planet–the London Ritz!

If getting attacked by jungle cats in the Pantanal or fleeing a revolution in Yala are not your thing, then consider trying this:

Afternoon tea–at the Ritz–in London!

Though it will set you back approximately $100 per person, a team of top Friedman-economists from the University of Chicago would not be able to explain how they make a profit.

It is the Mother of all quasi-meal services. It is the Alpha and Omega of customer service. The experience so absolutely shuts the hermetic seal between the moment you are in–and the external reality you seek to avoid–your lover could have collapsed in the parking lot and you wouldn’t think to call an ambulance.

There are chandeliers and museum quality impressionist art in the toilet stalls (you are not going to the bathroom, you are having an emotional experience), and (I’m not joking) the world’s fifth largest diamond is for sale in the gift shop.

It’s the sort of hotel experience that gets passed down as an oral history and mythical legend from generation to generation.

I guess what I’m saying is: I really liked the place.

They will treat you like a Queen! (Unless that’s also not your thing.)